Don’t Stay

You know that when I wanted to start traveling, I did a little research beforehand. I asked many friends, acquaintances, and people that until then I met by chance one afternoon in the park. Should I leave or not?

Friends from the university who wanted to do the same, colleagues who perhaps told me "give it a go now that you have time", "you're young". Many of them felt tied to their partner and their ideas of life, perhaps also to the work that one dedicates with love and passion every day. Others were more because of a mascot they had, or because of the soccer team that they played every weekend.

There wasn't one who told me to stay.

I listened to them, and I left. I went to learn, to know and to broaden my mind. Eating tasty things, completely out of my culture, learning another language by force, but in the supermarket you are left with your mouth open (and empty).

Relating to people who perhaps have never seen a person like you, where you come from, for them you are an extraterrestrial. Have you ever thought that? Wow.

They all told me to go away, and that they all would like to do it, but none of them could do it anymore for any other reason.

The dances and the demonstrations, the sports and the foods, the smells and the mountains, knowing and understanding what they are doing, or at least where you are walking.

Traveling is to transit on different opportunities that randomly appear. And perhaps reading something nice is an opportunity.

When I was in my last months of university I began to have dreams about death, and even during the day if some thought related to death came, it generated anxiety in me, and even my mind exploded of knowing about it, the existence itself, the universal.

A great teacher of ontological couching, after having an active talk on this topic, she repeats me certain phrases that I was simply telling her. For example, that I was finishing university, that I was finishing a department contract, a gym contract, leaving the city, leaving friends, leaving family, not wanting to tie up with people who did you good, and fighting with a best friend from childhood over temporary situations. As well as loving animals so much and not wanting to be responsible of one because it ties you up. Quit a job, sell all your belongings, and keep nothing.

After all, that is not living, and not living is death.

At that moment my head clicked and I said, "wow". How life can tell you everything with your own words, with what is coming out of your own mouth, or perhaps right now writing. Maybe we don't even listen to each other, what we say we are only saying to ourselves. Or maybe that's why the church has many followers, because they just listen.

I was tied to many things, ideas, objectives, goals, and not so much in the intentions and the lifestyle that I wanted to live.

I left with a victory, to leave death behind and continue with what we call life.

After that talk, everything disappeared. The dreams and thoughts were not there and if they were, I felt that I accepted death. That's it, I'm still in the game, and I understood that the exterior is simply an expression of our interior.